The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

 

 

After being rescued and brought to an island, a man discovers that its inhabitants are experimental animals being turned into strange-looking humans, all of it the work of a visionary doctor.

Big-budget and star-cast adaptation of H:G. Wells' classic sci-fi novel lands a fascinatingly wild and hilarious fail on almost every level, among which Marlon Brando's ridiculous performance is only one of the many facets you need to see to believe.
 

Halliwell (no star): "Incoherent horror, notable for one of Brando's more eccentric performances, mercifully brief."

Maltin*1/2: "Heavy-handed retelling of H.G. Wells' novel...Grotesque in the extreme, obvious, and ultimately pointless, but Brando devotees will want to check out his flamboyantly silly performance, and makeup buffs should admire Stan Winston's remarkable creations." 

 

 

The Salton Sea (2002)

After a tragic incident, a man drifts into a world populated by thugs and speed junkies.

A thriller that celebrates its own downward spiral is mostly watchable for its cast of amazingly grotesque characters.

Halliwell (no star): "Sleazy movie that enjoys its descent into the gutter, which here is full of grotesque characters and incidents, including a noseless dealer who recreates the Kennedy assassination with the aid of pigeons in model cars."

Maltin*1/2: "Dreadful film noir-ish thriller...Cluttered story about chance and revenge has more scummy characters than any audience should have to encounter in one movie."

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans (2009)

A drug- and gambling-addled detective in post-Katrina New Orleans investigates the killing of five Senegalese immigrants.

Abel Ferrara's masterpiece is stripped down to a hypnotic, at times surreal crime thriller within a world of lost moral barriers; the movie is mainly successful due to Nicolas Cage's intense performance.

Maltin***: "Wacky police procedural...a long, tawdry, wide-ranging yarn in which the good guys  and bad guys are hard to differentiate. Cage is terrific in a no-holds-barred performance. Bear no resemblance to the 1992 film..."

Top Gun (1986)

As students at the United States Navy's elite fighter weapons school compete to be best in the class, one daring young pilot learns a few things from a civilian instructor that are not taught in the classroom.

Reagan Era (and fascistoid) gung-ho as slick entertainment; only watchable, if your mind is turned off.

Halliwell (no star): "A feast of hardware and noisy music; not much story."

Maltin**1/2: "Contrived beyond belief, with dogfights that play like video games, and total lack of sexual chemistry between the two leads...but slickly calculated to please '80s audiences (and fans of ever-smiling Cruise). Edwards, as Cruise's sidekick, steals the show."

Red Planet (2000)

Astronauts, and their robotic dog AMEE (Autonomous Mapping Evaluation and Evasion), search for solutions to save a dying Earth by searching on Mars, only to have the mission go terribly awry.

It's quite a regular sci-fi adventure with maybe a bit too many obstacles packed into the plot, but manages to entertain in an old-fashioned kind of way.

Halliwell (no star): "Dreary science-fiction, with the actors inhibited by their space-suits; nothing interesting happens very slowly."

Maltin**: "Utterly ordinary sci-fi saga...Looks good, but covers awfully familiar dramatic turf."